Working in a Diverse World, part 2 of 3

We live in a diverse world. As supporters, we get opportunities to work with people who share identities with us and people who have very different identities from ours. This diversity makes our jobs and our lives rich and meaningful. This multi-part series aims to build skills to better support all people.

This is part 2 of the 3 part series. Find our previous three tips here. You can find the next three tips here. You can review the first article in this series here.

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Tip #4: Admit mistakes.

When Terry met Michelle last week, Michelle shared that she is transgender* and uses female pronouns. Over the phone today, Terry accidentally used “he” when referring to Michelle. “I’m sorry, I mean she,” Terry corrected herself before moving on.

* Transgender: person whose gender identify differs from their sex assigned at birth

Mistakes are sometimes impossible to avoid. We all make them. In fact, making mistakes is an important part of learning. We do not need to feel ashamed. Instead, it is important that we admit mistakes and learn from them.

Consider:

Instead of long explanations of your intent or deepest regret, simply apologize and move the conversation forward. Often, by focusing on the mistake, we only further alienate people.
Even if you don’t understand how or why something is offensive, don’t argue. If someone shares that you hurt or offended them, value their feelings and acknowledge your mistake.
Admitting your mistake might even help you connect with the person better and learn about who they are.

Tip #5: Be humble.

Laura and Andre were at a parade, and both were having a fun time. After the fire trucks rolled by, a police car came, flashing its sirens at the cheering crowd. Laura applauded loudly, feeling proud of the local police. She turned to Andre, and noticed his head was down, and he was shaking his head “no.” He seemed very upset. Laura was confused about this change in attitude. The fire truck siren hadn’t seemed to bother him, why should the police siren?

Terry began working with Jonah a few weeks ago. He noticed that Jonah eats a lot of canned and processed food. Terry used to eat primarily frozen food until three years ago, when he became more health conscious and lost significant weight. At that time, Terry had started going to the farmer’s market and eating fresh fruits and vegetables. He decides to “help” Jonah eat the same way. The two go to the farmer’s market and buy a week’s worth of food. The next week, Terry realizes that Jonah does not having enough money left to buy groceries for the rest of the month.

An important step in having cultural humility is to recognize areas in which you may have privilege. Privilege does not mean you’ve never had to work hard, or that things were handed to you. It just means that there are some problems or concerns you’ve never had to think about. Privilege can be like biking with the wind at your back. It helps you go faster, but it’s hard to notice. For those biking into the wind, the wind is obvious.

To have cultural humility, we should remember that we’re always learning! No one person is the expert on this topic. Listening to the perspective of others is crucial. We should also be open to being wrong. Remember, this is how we learn!

Consider:

Which of your identities might be considered “privileged” because they fall in the majority or mainstream? (For example: speaking English without an accent, having a bank account, driving a car, having had an education, etc.)
Take a minute to think about issues you’ve never had to face because of your privilege. You can find a few examples in the links below:
- White Privilege
- Heterosexual Privilege
- Able-bodied Privilege
- Middle-Upper Class Privilege
- Male Privilege
- Find other examples under the “Checklists” tab of any of the above links
Why is recognizing your privilege important? How might this impact the work we do?

Want to further explore the concept of Able Privilege?

Check out this TEDx talk

Able Privilege, Re-Conceptualizing Disability
Alan Larson at TEDxSFA

Tip #6: Understand power differences.

Jun is redecorating her home with Misha’s help. Jun has recently gotten into dark, bold colors and really wants to paint her bedroom charcoal. She knows that Misha likes pastel colors and is afraid to tell her what she really wants, even though Misha is offering her choices. Jun ends up painting her wall mint green. She is afraid she might disappoint Misha if she picks a color Misha doesn’t like. Jun is also worried that Misha might not want to spend time with her there, or even quit working with her if Jun paints the room dark.

Eli is about to leave for the grocery store with his new supporter, Tyrese. As they are preparing to leave, Mary reminds Tyrese to “make sure you take her inhaler with you, just in case.” Confused, Tyrese asks, “her?” Mary tells Tyrese know that “well, you’re new so you might not know yet, but Eli was actually born a girl.” Tyrese does not need to know this history to do his job. In fact, Eli preferred that others not share this personal information.

When we are paid to support someone, there is an implied power differential between us. This is simply the nature of the support role. As a paid supporter, no matter how much we might care about a person and respect their choices, there is an inherent power difference. People might be hesitant to express their true choices or say no to someone who is a supporter.

There can be additional power differences at play if a supporter is from a majority group, such as white, middle-class, or a native English-speaker. Some may be hesitant to disagree with, correct, or share personal information with someone they view as “the professional.”

So how can we help? We must listen to someone’s communication, with our ears, as well as our eyes and critical thinking skills. Understanding someone’s perspective might take more than just asking them, although simply asking someone what they think is an important and sometimes forgotten step.

Power also comes into play as paid supporters disclose information about a person. For example, how often do you discuss a person’s bowel movements with other professionals? How often do people tell others about your bowel movements? Sometimes, sharing private information is necessary. However, we must respect the privacy of those we support to the greatest degree possible.

Think carefully:

If someone else were to ask this person this question, would they still respond the same way? Is it possible that our presence is influencing this person’s decision?
Is this information that needs to be shared, and why? Who needs to know private details about a person and when is it irrelevant? Privacy is a right and reducing someone’s privacy also reduces their personal power over their own self and life.
How can we create opportunities for a person to make their own decisions and control situations which impact them? Control over oneself and life is a human need, and it is critical to self-advocacy and a full life. In services, this can be especially challenging, and we must strive to always consider and promote someone’s power.
How can assistive technology help? There may be a solution that supports safety without another human having to provide a hand.

Meet the author

Jennifer Buss – ISP Project Manager

Additional contributions to this article

Aniko Adany – OTAC Trainer